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Saturday, August 27, 2016
Presidential Candidate says: "Dump the garbage into the East River"
Presidential Candidate Says:
"DUMP THE GARBAGE INTO THE EAST RIVER!"
(Solving the affordable housing crisis one garbage bag at a time)
Facing rising rents, Michael F. Ingbar, a gallery owner,
native New Yorker, Vietnam War Vet, competitive dancer, and addicted
windsurfer, is being forced to close the doors of his Soho gallery after
30 years in business.
Rather than retire, Michael is trading in canvas for
canvassing and has registered as a write-in candidate for President. "In
a campaign season marked by limited choices, Americans are desperate
for more options to vote with their heart. I hope my campaign will
appeal to those disaffected struggling to find hope in our failing
Michael hopes his long shot bid will help garner support
needed (1% of registered voters) to form a new political party he calls
the "Dance Party". Similar to other fringe parties in the state such as
the "Rent Is Too Damn High Party", the "Dance Party" will aim to better
represent the concerns of Americans.
The party's revolutionary platform (a dance floor) will look
to give voters new hope and positivity in politics. One of the more
radical tenets of Michael's platform is total world disarmament and the
resolution of conflict through dance competitions. "Dance is a universal
language that is perfectly suited to non-violent conflict resolution,"
Ingbar said. "From Tango to Twerk, Swing to Shuffle, Ballet to Belly
dance, and Hip-hop to Hustle, dances from all cultures will bring us
together without violence. We'll turn the floor of the UN General
Assembly into a dance hall!"
The official start of Michael's campaign on September 8th
will coincide with the both the first opening of his gallery's grand
final show aptly named - "The Michael Ingbar Gallery Final Show" as well
as the beginning of the NDC (National Dance Party Convention). When
asked about the purpose of his final show, Ingbar said, "We're having a
big sale of art work amassed over my long career and worth more than
$400,000, to raise awareness and support for my campaign. Also, I don't
think I'll have room to hang everything in the White House." Works on
sale will start as low as $1.00 for invitations from old exhibitions to
$12,000.00 for a rare Richard Haas etching of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Guests at the exclusive opening will be treated to Michael's
first official speech as a candidate, in which he'll lay out his entire
Presidential platform, including his plan for his first thirty days in
office. "I tend to mumble when I talk so people just don't understand
me. Therefore I say, 'If you don't know what I'm saying how can I lie to
"Back in 1968, after my Honorable Discharge from the U.S.
Army, I created the Peace Sign American flag in protest of the Vietnam
War. Within thirty days of taking office, I will present Congress with a
plan to change the flag, this time officially. First, we'll replace the
stars - far too sharp and aggressive - with oranges. Fifty oranges will
be surrounded by five smaller oranges, symbolizing the states and
giving representation to the five permanently inhabited and
under-represented territories of the United States (Puerto Rico, U.S.
Virgin Islands, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, and American Samoa). A
single rotten orange will sit dead center to represent, of course,
Washington D.C. I will also change the colors of the stripes. As used in
our flag, the color red represents blood that's been shed in our many
wars, while white is a symbol of racism. We will replace the blood red
with orange, a color named after a fruit as American as apple pie! The
white will be replaced with a spectrum of skin-tones to represent the
plurality of ethnicities in our country." Sign the petition to change
the flag at Change.org.
The second opening, on Saturday, October 8, will coincide
with his 150th birthday celebration, will take place again at the
gallery with an offer for any other candidates to join him for a
hope-to-be-televised live on ABC, NBC and CNN debate with all
candidates, including but not limited to Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton,
and Mickey Mouse (Yes-Mickey got 11 votes for president in 2008!)
The third and final opening will be on November 9, the day after Election day, with a concession speech planned far in advance!
Note: As this will be a completely self-funded campaign,
donations cannot be accepted. However, you can show your support by
setting up an appointment to visit the gallery in person at 568 Broadway
in New York City or online at: www.michaelingbargallery.com
To find out more about Michael's quixotic run for the US Presidency, you can visit his website at: www.michaelingbar.com
"The Michael Ingbar Gallery Final Show" September 8, 2016